Grief and Loss:
Making Space for What Has Changed
Grief is a natural response to losing someone or something important to us. It may follow a bereavement, but we can also grieve the end of a relationship, a change in health, the loss of a role or identity, an unrealised future, or a significant transition in life.
There is no single or “correct” way to grieve. You may experience sadness, anger, guilt, relief, numbness or disbelief—sometimes in quick succession. Grief can affect the body as well as the mind, bringing exhaustion, disrupted sleep, changes in appetite, poor concentration or a sense of heaviness. At other times, you may feel relatively ordinary and then be caught unexpectedly by a memory, place, date or piece of music.
Grief is often described as a series of stages, but lived experience is rarely so orderly. It tends to move in waves. Over time, those waves may become less frequent or overwhelming, but this does not mean forgetting or “moving on.” The work of grieving is often about discovering how to live with what has changed while retaining a meaningful connection to what, or whom, has been lost.
From a relational Transactional Analysis perspective, loss can also stir earlier experiences of separation, unmet needs or having to cope alone. You may have learnt that you must be strong, avoid burdening others or return to normal quickly. Messages such as “Don’t feel,” “Keep going” or “Other people have it worse” can make it difficult to recognise and express what you need.
Therapy offers a relationship in which your grief does not need to be hurried, tidied up or made easier for somebody else. Together, we can explore both your present loss and the personal history it may touch. There can be room for conflicting feelings, unfinished conversations and the parts of your experience that others may find difficult to hear.The aim is not to remove grief, but to help you carry it with greater understanding and support, allowing life to grow around the loss without diminishing its significance.
If you are living with grief or adjusting to an important loss, I welcome you to get in touch for an initial conversation. We can talk about what you are experiencing, what support might feel helpful and whether working together feels right for you.